My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just shotgunned beers for America
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
