No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
