last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
