Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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