Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
