please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
