if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
