Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
