Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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