I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
