Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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