a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
