that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
