I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
