this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
