Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
