he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
