I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
