But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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