That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
