but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
