But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
