i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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