i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
