I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
