I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if only i could text you this smell
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
