I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
