The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You may now shotgun with the bride
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
