last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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