You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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