My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
