Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
