Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
