I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just gift wrapped bread.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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