watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My dick has a subreddit
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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