I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
