is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I did not marry a roomba.
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