Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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