She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
