Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
