It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
