can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
