Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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