I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
