I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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