Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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