please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
