She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize