Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
