What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize