dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
