Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
