I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
