You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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