Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
