We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I booty called her while she was in labor.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
