i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
