Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
