I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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