just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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