miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
